Week Two - The Detox From Hell

I figured a paste of my chart might be easier :)

		KGS	3.3	CMS	4	CMS	-0.5	CMS	8	BMI
		LOST		LOST		LOST		LOST
WK	Date	Weight	Loss from last week	Waist	Loss from last week	Bust	Loss from last week	Thighs	Loss from last week	Height     (m & cm)	BMI
Start	09/01/011	159.2	0	129	0	152.5	0	177	0	1.6	62.19
1	16/01/11	155.9	3.3	125	4	153	-0.5	169	8	1.6	60.90

You can see the losses :)  Not QUITE as big as I expected in weight, but the loss off the hips is massive!!! (Oh and I had my period during this first week too ugh).

Ok, so it was the detox from hell.  I tried not to complain too much.  But the headaches were harsh this time around.  Not so much of the gurgly tummy, but maybe I might get that this week LOL.  But the biggest thing last week was the headaches.  The water was easy.  I played it smart this time.  We bought a filter.  Saving a fortune in bottled water!  We always have chilled water now and it's filtered and it's tap water.  Yes, after over 13 years, I am officially drinking more tap water than bottled water.  Ok I admit, I was tired of the endless bottles that I always ended up squashing and putting in the bin.  This has saved me a lot of trouble LOL.

Psycologically?  Ah well, not too many demons really.  Just the one we all love.  Disappointment (in ones self of course).  I really had to get to the bottom of what stuffed me up last year.  What was it that pulled the rug from under me.

Ok well, the first mistake I made last week was look at the old photos of all that weight I had lost.  I cried and very quickly had to remind myself, that I can do it again.  Then I went through my old journals.  I am so glad I wrote them.  Whereas I still have to be a little diplomatic.  I can still be honest and not hurt anyones feelings (I hope) in explaining what happened.

Firstly, you should all understand I allowed this to happen!

Ok now that we have that out of the way, and in explaining what went wrong.  Let me ask you a question.  How many of you has let someone get under your skin so much that they can have the power to ruin your fun if you let them?  Yeeeeeeeesssssssss IF you let them being the key here.  Anyone has the power to ruin your fun, the only element that can change that, is you.

I was already a little shaky in April last year.  In essence I was looking for an excuse to give up.  Being called a liar when I was telling the truth, was all that I needed.  I will not bore you with the machinations of it all.  Some of you will probably still remember from the journal I wrote on the forum I ran.  But what can you do when you have known people for so long, had a ton of fun with them for ages, shared funny stories and then they just turn on you.  With no notice.  It hurt me very deeply at the time.  The results are a gain of some 40 kgs which is devastating but even though the core of me is the same, having lost almost 60 kgs previously and having learnt by that, I am not the same.  I will not allow that to happen again.  I can't.  Things cannot be as they were.  I still talk to them, but I will always have my barrier up.  I will never let that happen again.  It is sad, but that is how it is.  I am happy where I am now and that is also, how it is.  I will always be there for them.  I hope they know that, but I cannot share what we once had.

So at this point in time, I find myself plodding along on Tony Ferguson again.  I am eating way less salad dressing than I did before. I plan on cutting down to the allowable amount.  I am almost there too.  Hubby is doing ok.  He lost about 4kgs.  I am very proud of him.  He is not big on the good foods.  He will eat it, but some of it is a struggle.  We had Pork Medallions and veggies last night.  Knowing that he would only eat that with some apple sauce, I cut up an apple and stewed it.  He had apple sauce for his pork. 

Today, I am going to be cooking up 2kgs of chicken.  We have the chicken in our salads for lunch.  I will then be making up a pile of hamburgers and freezing them.  I made some bulk sauce last night and that is in the freezer already.  I need to try and cut some corners as I do want to be able to log on in time to raid with my WoW Guild.  At the moment, it is proving hard because I am cooking more things for a meal.  But I will get around it somehow, even if it does mean less Farmville LOL

Oh and I had a Pure Blonde Low Carb Beer yesterday.  Now that wont happen a lot as I am not a big beer drinker.  But I think another mistake I made was shunning everything that I thought was not right.  Treats, which you can have twice a week.  Booze is allowable too.  I have to keep reminding myself that yes, it is about losing this weight, but it is also about not denying yourself the things you are allowed.  I will be going on Progress at some point as I do not wish to live without coffee all my life.  I love my hubby's spag bol and I am not living without that AND the pasta that comes with it forever.  I denied myself everything for 62 weeks last time.  The melt down was massive.  Maybe if I had allowed myself those things, I may well have been at goal by now.  But there is no point in crying over spilt milk (well lite milk - skim I do not do for anyone, not even Mr Ferguson!).

I might leave it there.  I will do comparison shots once a month.  In the mean time, have fun, be kind to yourself (something I should do) and those that love you!

<3 Mairwyn